I am sorry things have been so quiet around here lately. On a day to day basis, this blog and other aspects of The Love Nerds are so important. But sometimes, things happen that cause work to be the very last priority. For me, it was losing my grandma. Wasn’t she beautiful?
My grandma had a long and hard journey. She suffered from multiple strokes over the years that left her quality of life very low. Wheel-chair bound with tremors, she was honestly ready to leave this world and go home as she would always say. I am thankful that she is no longer in pain.
I am also so incredibly sad. I was 15 hours away from getting to see her one last time. No one truly thought she would pass as quickly as she did. We thought there would be a couple more days, so I bought a train ticket to say goodbye to my grandma. I wasn’t really sure what I was going to say. How do you thank a woman for being constantly supportive, for making you feel loved, for always showing up for the big moments and for wanting to even when she physically couldn’t anymore, or for giving you the most incredible mother? I probably just would have said “I love you” over and over again. Instead, that train ticket brought me home to St. Louis to an emptiness.
She has left behind a husband of 66 years (minus only a few days), 5 children, 19 grandchildren and 9 (almost 10) great-grandchildren. I could write a whole well’s worth of wishes: I wish I had made it in time. I wish her health was better at the end of her life. I wish she was still here. I wish she would have the opportunity to meet my children one day. I am struggling to hold on to her beautiful life and her now peace more tightly than to those wishes.
Thank you for the support I have received from many of you already and thank you for your continued patience as I get back into the swing of things here. Tomorrow we will get back into our normal routine with a recipe, so get ready!